Understanding the Role of Death Doulas
Death doulas, also known as soul midwives, have become increasingly popular in recent years. These trained non-medical end-of-life companions provide support to individuals and families during the dying process. Rita Ball, a death doula based in London, describes the experience as deeply meaningful, emphasizing the importance of being present during a person’s final moments. She has supported families and volunteered in NHS care homes, helping people understand what they can do when a loved one is dying, such as holding their hand, playing music, or talking to them.
Death doulas differ from birth doulas, who assist during pregnancy and childbirth. The number of death doulas has grown significantly, with 114 joining End of Life Doula UK in 2025 alone. Public figures like Nicole Kidman, Ruby Wax, and Davina McCall have shown interest in training as end-of-life doulas, highlighting the growing awareness of this role.
Support and Practical Help from Death Doulas
Death doulas offer both emotional and practical support. For example, Fanny Behrens from Devon sought help from death doula Sarah Parker before her husband died of cancer. Parker provided a compassionate space for Behrens to express her grief and encouraged her to discuss important end-of-life decisions with her husband, such as funeral arrangements and burial preferences. Parker also assisted with practical matters like contacting undertakers and registering the death, while reminding Behrens to care for her own wellbeing.
Death doulas also support the dying person directly. Parker explains the physical changes that occur in the final days, such as fluctuations in body temperature and breathing patterns, including the “death rattle” sound. Being informed about these changes can help families feel less frightened and more prepared.
Lessons on Dying from the Experience of Death Doulas
Emma Clare, chief executive of End of Life Doula UK, notes that many people have lost knowledge about the natural process of dying. Popular culture often portrays death as sudden or dramatic, which can create fear and misunderstanding. Death doulas help by explaining the physical and emotional aspects of dying in detail, allowing families to spend their remaining time more meaningfully.
Soul midwife Krista Hughes emphasizes the importance of creating a loving environment for those who are dying. She shares an example of a person who wished to die in a garden but was unable to due to medical needs. Hughes recreated the experience by bringing in sensory elements like pictures, lavender oil, and birdsong to provide comfort and a sense of peace.
Death doulas often continue their support after death by assisting with funeral arrangements, relaying messages, and organizing memorial services. They also engage in community activities such as death cafes, which encourage open conversations about death over tea and cake.
Challenges and Future of Death Doula Care
Marian Krawczyk, a researcher in end-of-life care, explains that the nature of dying has changed, with more people living longer with life-limiting illnesses rather than experiencing sudden deaths. This shift has led to increased expectations for individuals to shape their own dying process. Death doulas can play a role in supporting these choices, but the field currently lacks regulation and mandatory training in the UK.
There is debate about whether death doulas should be integrated into the healthcare system or remain independent. Concerns exist about the cost of services and the potential for exploitation of vulnerable people. However, Krawczyk points out that end-of-life care quality varies widely depending on location, and doulas can help fill gaps in care.
Dr. Paul Perkins, chief medical director at the palliative care charity Sue Ryder, highlights the difficulties patients face navigating healthcare while coping with emotional challenges. He supports efforts to help those who are dying achieve the best possible quality of life, enabling them to spend meaningful time with loved ones.