Young Chinese Turn to “Virtual Parents” for Comfort Amid Family Pressure
Vincent Zhang, a tech worker in Shanghai, finds solace in videos by a middle-aged couple known as “virtual parents” after facing harsh criticism from his own parents. This niche group of content creators has gained nearly two million followers on Douyin, China’s version of TikTok, by offering warm, supportive messages to young viewers who feel pressured by their families and society.
Why this matters
The rise of “virtual parents” reflects a growing emotional gap between Chinese youth and their real parents, highlighting the intense social and familial pressures young people face today. These creators provide a rare source of encouragement and understanding, addressing a need unmet by traditional family dynamics.
Virtual parents offer emotional support
Pan Huqian and Zhang Xiuping, the couple behind the popular virtual parent videos, speak directly to their audience with comforting words. In one video, they ask, “Are you tired from work and study lately? Don’t push yourself too hard. Mum and Dad know that you have endured a lot.” Their followers often respond by calling them mum and dad, sharing personal stories, and seeking birthday blessings.
Pan, who experienced a difficult childhood and left home at 14 to support his family, says his videos aim to create a more loving family atmosphere than he experienced. His daughter frequently appears in their videos, reinforcing the message of warmth and care.
Generational tensions and pressures
Vincent describes his weekly phone calls with his parents as stressful, with constant criticism about his career choices and personal life. His parents prefer he take a government job for stability and pressure him about relationships, leaving Vincent feeling judged and corrected rather than supported.
This tension is common among young Chinese like Vincent, who grew up during a period of economic growth and stability but now face a highly competitive environment and a sluggish economy. Youth unemployment rates have remained high, contributing to feelings of burnout and disillusionment.
Many young people feel caught between traditional expectations of filial piety and their own struggles. Some state media have encouraged youth to be more understanding of their parents, but individuals like Vincent recognize their own generational challenges and emotional wounds.
Social impact and coping mechanisms
The frustrations with controlling or demanding parents have sparked viral memes known as “gourd soup literature,” which humorously depict the common experience of being blamed despite good intentions. Zhao Xuan, 28, has muted her family chat to avoid constant criticism and uses humor and memes to cope.
She also sought therapy but found that changing her mindset was more effective than expecting her parents to change. This reflects a broader trend among young people seeking new ways to manage family stress and emotional well-being.
What to watch
The popularity of virtual parents like Pan and Zhang points to a shifting cultural conversation about parenting and emotional support in China. As these creators gain commercial success and expand their reach, they may influence how younger generations approach family relationships and mental health.
For Vincent and many others, the virtual parents offer a comforting reminder of simpler, more affectionate family interactions, even if only through a screen. “A little bit of warmth is better than nothing,” he says, underscoring the deep need for emotional connection in a rapidly changing society.
Recommended reading
For more context, see related Peack News coverage and explainers linked below.
