returned my husband: After nearly 60 years of marriage, Pam Cronrath wanted to honour her husband Bill with a hologram at his funeral. When Bill died last year, Pam knew she wanted to create a memorable tribute, but she was unsure of how to proceed. “I promised him a super wake,” she told the BBC.
returned my husband: what to know
Journey into Hologram Technology
Living in Wenatchee, Washington, Pam, 78, is a self-confessed tech enthusiast. Her career dates back to the early days of the internet, which shaped her outlook on technology. Several years prior, she had witnessed a doctor appear as a full-body hologram during a medical conference, an experience that left a lasting impression on her. After Bill’s passing, she began to wonder if similar technology could be used for remembrance.
Finding the right resources proved challenging. Pam wanted to act quickly, but many companies she contacted were either too expensive or uninterested in her project. Eventually, she connected with Proto Hologram and Hyperreal, two companies specializing in hologram and avatar technology. Pam expressed her concerns about the project, noting the disparity between working with high-profile clients and her own situation. She had initially budgeted $2,000 for the “super wake,” but the final costs escalated significantly, reaching “at least 10 to 15 times” her original plan. Despite the increased expenses, Pam felt that Bill would be inspired and thankful for the tribute.
Creating the Hologram
In recent years, various technologies have emerged that allow individuals to appear to speak after death by using pre-recorded answers to questions. However, Hyperreal’s founder, Remington Scott, explained that their approach is different. They focus on “comprehensive capture” of likeness, voice, motion, and performance to create a representation that those who knew the person would recognize immediately.
Since Bill had already passed away, Pam could not provide live recordings. Instead, she wrote the script herself, drawing from their six decades of shared life. The most challenging aspect was capturing Bill’s voice. He was a quiet man, and there were few recent recordings to reference. Engineers worked to balance the sound, aiming for a voice that family members would recognize, even if it wasn’t perfect.
At the memorial service, around 200 people attended, most of whom were unaware of the hologram. When Bill’s hologram appeared, life-size and speaking directly to the audience, the reaction was immediate. The hologram introduced itself humorously, saying, “Now, before anyone gets confused, I’m not actually here in Valhalla today.” Pam noted that some attendees were genuinely confused about how the hologram was possible. The hologram participated in a staged Q&A, with Bill’s nephew hosting, and even joked about his marriage to Pam.
One of Pam’s sons remarked that the voice was “just a little bit off,” but for Pam, this feedback confirmed how close they had come to achieving a perfect likeness. She emphasizes that the hologram does not replace her husband or her grief. “It’s like looking at photos or old videos. It doesn’t get boring,” she said. Seven months later, she still watches the recording, cherishing moments like when the hologram says, “I love you.”
Ethical Considerations
Scott believes the Cronrath project is unique because it was entirely family-led, with Pam initiating the project and involving her family at every step. He views the creation as a form of memorialization rather than a replacement for the deceased. However, experts have raised ethical concerns regarding such technology, including the potential for exploitation of grieving individuals and the commodification of grief.
Dr. Elaine Kasket, a cyberpsychologist, warns that technology should not be seen as a solution to grief. She emphasizes the importance of respecting individual grieving processes and cautions against the “platformisation of grief,” where the deceased are treated as data to be curated. Dr. Jennifer Cearns echoes this sentiment, highlighting the need for caution in recognizing how grief can make individuals vulnerable.
For Pam, the hologram was never about spectacle. “It was about Bill,” she stated, emphasizing the importance of honouring his humour and kindness. As technology continues to evolve, Pam’s experience raises important questions about the implications of using such innovations in memorialization.